


Beth and Randall firsts

by Jangela



Category: This Is Us (TV)
Genre: Black Character(s), College, F/M, Falling In Love, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-02-10 13:38:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12913053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jangela/pseuds/Jangela
Summary: This is a series of all of Beth and Randall's first. Rated Explicit for later chapters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope my fellow Brandall shippers will enjoy this! If you have any suggestions or idea just leave them in the comments.

Randall hated parties. Not only did he not fit in, he had much more important things to do than be at a party with a bunch of drunken college students. He could be studying, working out; anything but this. But Kevin dragged him along, told him he needed to have some fun occasionally.   
And that’s how he found himself at the biggest Frat party on campus, surrounded by clouds of smoke and bubbles flying everywhere. “Kevin… I shouldn’t be here. It’s not my scene.”  
“Will you stop being such a stick in the mud?”  
“I’m not a stick in the-“  
“You are. You’re a stick in the mud, a negative Nancy, a party shitter. All of that, loosen the hell up.” Randall rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands into his jean pockets. How could he loosen up and have fun when he would much rather be in his dorm room reading? 

It was a surprise that Kevin even invited him. It wasn’t often that the two hung out, and he actually took pride in the fact that his brother wanted to spend some time with him or at the lease was concerned about him to a point. 

The two headed to bar and Kevin got them both a glass of beer; Randall hated beer. He hated the smell, he hated the taste; he hated how it made people act. Like they had no self control, like they couldn’t think. He took a small swig and put the bottle down, and as his eyes scanned the crowd they stopped.

He had never- literally never- seen anyone as beautiful as the girl standing about 50 feet from him. He smiled at the sight of her, at the thought of her. She had golden bright skin, her hair was in a mess of curls, but it was a gorgeous mess, she had on a large black TLC shirt, it was so big it went pass her thighs but stopped a few inches away from her knees, and with that she wore a large red plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. The plaid shirt was a little longer than the t-shirt, and she wore combat boots, she had on fishnet stockings and lots and lots of black bracelets. 

“Why are you smiling like an idiot?”  
“What?”  
“You’re smiling like a dumbass.” Kevin clarified. “What are you staring at?”  
“Not what, who…”  
“Okay, who are you staring at?”  
“Her.” Randall pointed to the girl and Kevin grinned,  
“Damn,” He laughed, “She’s too far out of your league, let me have her-“  
“NO!” Randall shouted and Kevin’s eyes grew wide, “You have Sophie!” Kevin chuckled, that he did.   
“Then go talk to her, playboy.” Randall shook his head,  
“ I cant just… go talk to her. She’s got people around her-“  
“A girl like that is rarely ever alone.” Kevin laughs taking a swig of his beer.  
“I can’t talk to her… I wouldn’t know what to say.”  
“Walk over, introduce yourself, say hi. Simple, don’t over think it.”  
“I can’t-“  
“You can. And if you don’t I will, so I suggest you get moving.” With that, Kevin gives him a small shove. 

It seems like it takes forever to get to her, but when he’s in front of her he realizes that he got there way too fast. “Hi,” He shouts over the music, but he thinks he might have been too loud. She turns to him and now that he’s closer he notices the small mole on her cheek, and the roundness of her nose, how big and chocolate brown her eyes were. Her lips curved into a curious smile, it was then that he noticed how plump her lips were. They were luscious and inviting and he just…

Damn. 

She was patiently waiting for him to continue. Her arms were folded over her chest, that smile still painted on her lips. “Hi,” he repeated and her smile got wider. She eyes him down, licking her lips and smirking,  
“You already said that part,” she gently reminded him.   
“Oh right…” He feels hot under her gaze; she’s literally making him sweat.  
“So next you would tell me your name or ask me mines.” Randall blushes at the amused smile she’s giving him, like she’s having too much fun with him right now. But when her friends start giggling and whispering behind her he starts to feel his cheeks heat up. His mind is racing; he’s never done this before.  
“I’m-I’m-“He gets caught up looking in her eyes, focusing on her full lips, the roundness of her nose… “Beautiful.” He breathes. He sees a blush spread across her cheeks and she raises an eyebrow. He snaps his eyes shut and rubs his temples. “I mean, you’re eyes are beautiful- I- No… I meant I’m Randall. My name is Randall-“He gulps. “You’re-You’re beautiful.” He sees her tongue press against the inside of her cheek and she chuckles,  
“I’m Beth actually. But thank you.” He clears his throat,  
“So, what brings you here?” He stutters and he mentally slaps himself. He sounds like a 40 year old man that just ran into one of his classmates from high school in the grocery store. Beth is still smirking at him.  
“Tony invited me,” She says nodding her head toward a tall, muscular guy in a football uniform.   
“Is that your boyfriend?” He asks her with a worried expression, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you had a… but you’re so pretty why wouldn’t you have a-“Beth gently grabs his shirt and pulls him down so that her lips are close to his ear. She breathes on his neck, giving him goose bumps.   
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” She whispers and lets him go. “He’s just a friend. Barely that… we have English together.” She shouts with a shrug.   
“Oh, ok.” He says, his nerves still getting the best of him. His palms are so sweaty and moist; he wipes them on the side of his pants. Her friends are rolling their eyes at him, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come over here.” He tells Beth, “You were just so pretty and I wanted to talk to you, but I have no idea what I’m doing-“  
“You’re doing fine.” Beth steps a little closer to him, pulling him back down to her height. “They’re jealous.” She says, “We can go talk outside if you want.” She lets him go, her smile still there. He nods his head and Beth takes his hand, leading him outside of the frat house. 

////

He’s a bundle of nerves right now, as Beth leads him to the back of the frat house. Once they’re out on the porch Beth lets go of his hands and leans against the banister   
“Do you flirt with all the pretty girls that you see at parties?” She asks with a smile, she has a pretty voice, the kind he could sit and listen to for hours. Randall freezes, he shakes his head quickly.  
“No, no! I swear, I don’t-“  
“I’m kidding, calm down.” Beth says watching him, “Truth is; it was nice. Being hit on in a sweet way. Most guys just come up and comment on my body.”   
“I-I’d never degrade you like that- i mean your body is-it’s nice, really nice but I’d never say that- we’ll i guess I just did but that’s just because you know- your body- do you work out? Because if you did... it would be pretty obvious.” 

She raises her eyebrows, her lips forming into a closed lip smirk. Her eyes are curious but flattered; Randall has a certain dorky charm to him. 

He’s well put together, his red, grey and white plaid shirt-not only buttoned to his neck, but tucked into his well pressed jeans as well. Beth wasn’t used to seeing men like him, where she was from guys like him didn’t exist. They didn’t button their shirts all the way up and you wouldn’t catch anyone dead with anything tucked into their pants. No; the men where she was from sagged, and wore shirt 2 sizes too big. They wore doo rags and backwards and sideways caps and chains to their stomachs. 

But she wasn’t into men like that. She thought it was immature and juvenile.

Randall was built well though- 200 lbs of pure muscle, deep voice like the ocean, with a very clean face. She looked him over, he was handsome: chocolate brown skin and eyes to match. Broad shoulders and large muscles for his small frame.

Beth liked it. She liked him.

He’s still rambling, trying to get his words right. “You talk a lot don’t you?” Beth asks and Randall stops. She laughs, “I run when I have time.” Beth smiles   
“I talk when I’m nervous. And when I’m excited or happy. Or-“ Randall pauses, “Yes, I do.” This makes Beth giggle. She likes how nervous he is around her and how he’s stumbling over his words. It brings her to an ease she’s never felt with a guy before.   
“What’s your major?” Beth asks, even though she already has a clue.   
“Mathematics”  
“I’m not surprised.” Beth smiles and so does Randall.  
“I like football too.” She raises both her eyebrows, a little surprised.   
“Don’t tell me you play?’”  
“All high school.” Randall says, “And karate… I was in karate up until last year.”  
“So you can break a board with your foot?” Randall smiles and nods “Are you a black belt?” He nods again. “That’s pretty cool.”  
“What about you?”  
“What do you want to know about me?”  
“Everything.” Randall breathes. Beth grins and Randall blushes once more. “We can start with your major.”  
“Graphic design right now.”   
“Right now? Why-“  
“Hey Beth.” Randall turns around to find Tony nodding smoothly at Beth. He approaches the two slowly, bumping Randall out of the way and grabbing onto Beth’s waist. “Wassup?” Beth placed her hand on his chest and pushed him away.   
“Nothing much,” Beth answers shortly with a shrug of her shoulders. Tony reaches out, grabbing Beth by the waist once more and pulling her into him. “You enjoying yourself? You feeling the party?”  
“It’s okay.” Randall watches from the sides, wondering if he should leave or not. He knew it was too good to be true; there was no way a girl like Beth would be into him. Not when she could have a guy like Tony. He was smooth talking and knew exactly what to say. He wasn’t stumbling over his words or saying anything stupid. But he notices Beth push him away.  
“I been watching you all night, girl. You look awfully fine.”  
“Mhm,” Beth nods slowly, trying to figure out how to get rid of Tony. “Thanks, I guess.”   
“I was thinking you could come back to my room after this?” he steps closer again and she shakes her head, looking up at him.  
“No chance.” Beth says with a light chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, this time she uses two hands to push him away. Tony chuckles back, eyeing Beth up and down. He doesn’t give up,  
“How about I walk you back to your room then?” He smiles, this time his hand finding its way to the back of Beth’s thigh. “I can keep you company.” His hand slowly starts moving up…  
“Tony,” She says a little more firmly, pushing his hand away again. “Stop it. I’m good.”   
“C’mon. Why you playin’? What did you think I invited you here for?” Beth blinks,  
“Just because you invite me to a party doesn’t mean I’m automatically saying yes to having sex with you.” Beth says crossing her arms. “I’m not playing anything with you, Tony. Leave me alone. Besides, I was talking to someone-“  
“Right,” Tony turns to Randall, “She’s good from here poindexter, I’ve got this fine piece of ass,” Tony pushes Randall away even further away.  
“Hey man,” Randall’s says hesitantly, “That isn’t any way to talk about her... her name is Beth.”  
“Is this dude serious right now?” Tony laughs, “I know how to handle my girl,” he says pulling Beth to him again, “now I said to get lost-“  
“I’m not your girl.” This time when Beth tries to push him away but this time he won’t loosen his grip. “Get off of me!”  
“Nah, we ain’t done talking-“  
“Yeah, you are.” Randall cuts in. “Man just let her go.”  
“Ain’t nobody talking to you,”  
“Let her go!” Randall says in a voice that scared even him. He does something that he’s never done before, he pushes Tony, causing him to stumble back and let go of Beth. Once Tony regains his footing, there’s a look of fire in his eyes but that’s the same look Randall now has. The other boy is noticeably bigger than Randall, but he doesn’t back down. He doesn’t care. How dare someone put their hands on her? Randall stands up straight and gets his words together. “Leave her alone.”  
“You gonna fight me over her? This little tease-”  
“Watch your mouth.” Randall snarls.   
Randall looks at Beth and back at Tony, “She already asked you to stop touching her. And to leave her alone. You seem hard of hearing so yeah-“  
“Boy, I’ll wipe this whole backyard with you!”  
“Try it.” They stare each other down, waiting for someone to make a move. Randall’s fist are balled tightly, preparing to hit Tony if need be. But Beth steps between the two of them, pushing Randall away from Tony.   
“You do realize that fighting is against the code of conduct? Anyone caught fighting at anytime will be expelled.” She says, she takes hold of Randall’s fist. “He’s not worth it.” She whispers to him. Randall takes his eyes away from Tony and looks at Beth for a minute,  
“But you are.” He says, Beth gives him a tiny blushing smile,  
“C’mon... walk me back to my dorm?” She grabs onto Randall’s arm, tugging him. “I said. Let’s go.” Randall looks at Beth and nods his head. He backs away from Tony, following Beth away from Tony.

////

Their walk back to campus was quiet. But Beth hadn’t let go of his arm, she held onto it tight, as if she couldn’t get close enough to Randall. “I’m sorry.” Randall finally speaks, “I should have thought that threw…”  
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Beth says softly, “Besides, it was… Brave, courageous; fearless, standing up for me like that. A lot of guys wouldn’t have stepped to Tony; he is a senior football player. He kind of owns the campus.” Randall laughs,   
“He wasn’t so big and bad.” Beth smiles, giving Randall’s arm a squeeze,  
“Thank you… It was… heroic.” Beth blushes, “Like you were my knight and shining armor or something.” She holds on tighter, “Like my hero.”  
“I can be that. I can totally be that.” Randall says a little too excitedly and Beth laughs,   
“Do you ever calm down?” Randall shakes his head,   
“No.” He grins, “My dad always told me that women are made to be loved, handled gently… that the only time you should put your hands on a women is to make her feel good; make her feel alright.” Randall clears his throat, “And to see him just… do that to you, and talk to you like that. It made me mad.”  
“I’m not going to lie; it was hot; seeing you so… fired up over me. Trying to protect me. But I’d never let you fight someone over me. ” Randall grins,   
“I think I’d fight the world for you.”  
“We just met.”  
“I know,” He says, “So… aren’t your friends going to wonder where you are?”  
“Those girls weren’t my friends.” Beth laughs, “They were my roommate and some of her friends. She heard that Tony invited me and got all excited because he’s a senior and all that so… she made me come to this party. I wanted to stay in my room and watch Fresh Prince.” Randall nods,   
“I didn’t want to come either.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah… my brother is big on campus and he got invited… he made me come.”  
“So we both meet at a party that neither of us wanted to come to?”  
“Seems like destiny.” Beth nods with a bright smile, she can’t stop smiling. “So… Fresh Prince…”  
“The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?” Randall doesn’t answer, “With The Fresh Prince… Will smith. The rapper!”   
“I’m sorry!” Randall says and Beth lets go of his arm to look at him.  
“You really don’t know who or what I’m talking about?” Randall shakes his head, “Okay… but you’ve seen Martin… Livin’ singles… A different world?” Randall shakes his head.   
“What!”  
“I-I um-“  
“I need an explanation. Fast.”  
“My family’s white…” Randall shrugs; he didn’t want to say that right away. Beth nods, confused.  
“You’re… adopted?”  
“Yup.”  
“Oh… ok, I’m sorry.”  
“No, its fine, it’s cool; they’re cool… amazing, actually. Besides, I’ve never been much into TV.” Randall lies, truth be told, he might have watched it more if he saw more of himself.   
“You can’t live a whole life and not see ‘A different world’. That’s basically why I’m here.” She laughed. “And you haven’t laughed until you’ve seen The Carlton dance, or seen Pam and Martin go at it.” She laughs more, “So you have to come over sometime so we can get you caught up with some black television.” They both laugh as they approach the steps of Beth’s dorm. She pulls her keys out and smiles at Randall, “Thank you, again.”  
“It was nothing.” He blushes, “Really… I’ll never let someone put their hands on you.” Beth blushes at that, her smile growing.   
“Are you good at memorizing?” She asks and Randall nods, “487-9826” Randall mouths the numbers as she says them, “That’s my number.”  
“487-9826” She nods, “487-9826”  
“Call me when you get to your room. To let me know you got there. And then maybe we can set up our TV date.” She says as she opens the door to her dorm, Randall cant help it; hes smiling from ear to ear.   
“Okay,”   
“Don’t forget.”  
“I won’t… 487-9826” He repeats.  
“Bye Randall.”  
“Bye Beth.” He watches as she disappears down a hallway and he turns on his heels and begins to run. “487-9826”


	2. First date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy the second chapter, please leave any other first you would like me write about I promise to get back to them and add them to a chapter.

They spent their days in Beth’s room listening to music. She got Randall hip to all the new jams, and even some older jams he hadn’t really heard of before; she didn’t make him feel incompetent or dumb because he had never heard jodeci or Nas... 

Sure, he knew Michael Jackson. But everyone knew Michael Jackson.

Randall liked spending time with Beth; he loved it, actually. She was smart, and funny, and almost as much of a nerd as he was... just way cooler. She liked how corny he was; she liked his jokes. When they would listen to music she would dance around the room and she didn’t care that Randall watched; in fact, she kind of liked it. 

She always had a book to read, rather it was for pleasure or for school; he liked when Beth would read because she would let him lay under her while she played with his hair, it calmed him in a way he didn’t know possible. He would bring his homework to her room and study there. Back in high school, Randall would stress about homework and papers. He would have panic attacks about being the best and getting the highest grades… but when he was with Beth he was relaxed.

They spent almost every moment together, in the morning Randall would walk to Beth’s room and walk her to her first class of the day, then they’d go to lunch together, hang out in the quad together and would go to her room and hang out. Last weekend he accompanied her and a few of her friends to the movies and while they were in the theater him and Beth held hands in the theater. He wanted to know how it would be to take Beth out; just the two of them.

Today was the day he would ask her. It was the only thing that had been on his mind all week, he couldn’t even focus on the science paper he had to write or the complicated math equations that his professor wanted done by Friday. He hadn’t been able to focus on much of anything except one thing; asking Beth on a date. 

In theory, it was simple. Just ask her out, the two had hung out enough. It should be easy. But his brain wouldn’t let it be easy and his heart was racing. Randall had no idea how to ask a girl out, let alone a girl like Beth. What if she shot him down? What if she only liked him as a friend? What if she laughed? What if she just flat out said no with no kind of explanation? 

Randall couldn’t handle that kind of rejection. Not from her.

He sat on Beth’s bed, watching her write her English essay at her desk. She kept writing and erasing, writing and erasing, trying to put together the perfect sentence. He enjoyed watching Beth, she wasn’t as much of a perfectionist as him; but she still liked to put her best forward.   
“What is it, Randall?” He chuckles nervously.  
“What?”  
“You’ve been staring at me for like 30 minutes. And I can feel your anxiety a mile away. And honestly, you’re anxiety is giving me anxiety and I’m already killing myself over here.” She chuckles   
“Oh...” he hadn’t realized he had been looking for that long.   
“What do you want?” Beth asked sweetly. “Seriously, my brain needs a break.” She said turning around and giving him her undivided attention.  
“I like hanging out with you...” Beth nods,   
“Yeah I do too,” she smiles, “You’re dope forreal.” Randall grinned, he knew that was a good compliment. “And funny.”  
“Yes, yeah- you’re dope too.” Beth laughed, “I mean we have fun in here... and when you let me walk you to class or when we eat together in the cafeteria with your friends and my friends”  
Beth nods, waiting for his point. “And it was fun when we all went to the movies... But I think we would have fun with... I don’t know-just you and me... maybe?” Randall gets out and Beth raises an eyebrow.  
“Just... me and you?” Randall nods, “We hang out just me and you all the time.”   
“Well yeah, but not in public. Like dinner and a movie. Or we could do something else- we could do whatever you want.” Beth looks up at Randall,   
“Like a date?” This makes him blush.  
“Um yeah... yeah, Beth, exactly like a date- I want to take you on a date.” He stumbles over his words like his tongue doesn’t work. “If that’s not too much to ask…” Beth keeps her eyes on Randall, trying to read him. She’s going to say yes, she could never turn Randall down because he’s way too sweet. But she likes to see him sweat, she likes to see the clocks in his brain spinning so fast it was making him dizzy. She thought it was kind of funny, the way Randall spazzed out.   
“You can take me out,” She grins, giving him a look of reassurance. “Saturday night? I should have made a dent in all these assignments and papers by then.” Randall smiles brightly,   
“Ok, ok, Saturday night.

Saturday Night.

This was his chance to prove himself to Beth. He wanted to show her a good time- the perfect time. He wanted her to like him as much as he liked her. He didn’t want to seem boring, so he sweated all the way to Beth’s door.

It’s ridiculous; to still be this nervous around her after a month. But he can’t help it.   
Randall knocks on her door, then wipes his palms off on his dress pants. It took him an hour to find something to wear; and he went back and fourth with Kevin on rather or not jeans were too laid back for this event. Kevin thought jeans were fine, Randall didn’t think they were good enough. So, he settled on black dress pants and a white button down.   
When Beth answered the door he literally almost fainted.  
She had on a red velvet dress with black stockings and her braids were up in a bun. All he could do was grin.   
“Hey,” She smiled looking him over, “You look like a waiter.” She laughs and Randall blushes,  
“I wanted to look nice-“  
“You do look nice. Like a very nice waiter.” She gives him a playful grin. “So are we walking tonight or-“  
“No, no my brother let me use his car. So… we’re mobile. On wheels. We have a car.”  
“Gotcha.” Beth Smiles. “That’s good though because I would have had to take these heels off.” Randall can’t hear her though because he’s too busy staring at her.  
“You look pretty. Really pretty.” Randall points out. “Like sunset pretty, like… the sky when you’re out in the woods and you can see all the stars pretty…like ‘damn’ pretty.” It was Beth’s turn to blush now and she did. She blushed harder than she ever thought was possible.   
“Uh, thanks.”  
“You deserve to be told that every day.” Her blush got deeper, and she hid her face.   
“Randall-“  
“I’m sorry,” He smiles, “You’re just… gorgeous. Literally.”   
“Shut up.” She giggles as they start walking. “What do you have planned for us tonight?”  
“You’ll have to wait and find out.”

////

“Are you hungry?” Randall asks and Beth shrugs,   
“Not really, not right now. Why?”  
“So dinner can wait.” Randall grins, he turns right at the next corner and pulls into a parking lot with a few other cars. 

When they get out Beth is grinning from ear to ear.

There was a gleam in her eye when she found a book she liked. There was something about the way Beth would take off her shoes when she really got into a book. She would sit quietly somewhere on campus, legs folded Indian style with her nose in the book. Or if she were at the campus cafe she would sit with a cup of coffee in the back of the shop and trace the words with her fingers as she read. And she hated when people-it was always a boy- would interrupt her book. Except Randall. If Randall were around she would tell him all about the book and read him a chapter or two. Because Randall wasn’t like other guys. He wouldn’t try and distract her from her book, he would ask her about the book and how far she’s gotten. He would go and get her a bagel to eat while she read and he would sit and do math for fun. 

They had an understanding. Which is why he brought her here. 

“Randall…” She says, “A book store?”  
“Well… I saw that long list of books you’ve been meaning to get so I figured we could spend an hour in here… looking at books and talking? And you said you hadn’t been able to visit any local bookstores because they were all too far so…” Randall pauses, “If you think it’s lame then we can-“  
“It’s thoughtful. Really thoughtful and sweet. You’re so thoughtful and sweet.” She’s smiling so bright, “This is really cute.” She takes her hand and places it on Randall’s cheek, stroking him there gently before dragging it down until her hand is linking with his. Beth leads the way.  
“I love bookstores and libraries. There perfect because there’s so many books to choose from! Like… if you like fiction there’s a whole section dedicated to specifically that, or poetry, or documentations and history, and like… the African American section is always dope… you can read about black history or any kind of history. And the kids section, I love the kids section because I always find books for my little cousins and I used to read to them when I was home and- “Beth stops, “I’m sorry.” She blushes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know you probably don’t actually care- “Randall shakes his head,  
“It’s cool… It’s cute, that you’re so into books.” Beth smiles as she heads towards the fiction section and starts to hand Randall book after book. “Are you going to read all these right now?”  
“No… but I can’t just pass them up. I read the first few pages and if I like it I can order it from the library and read it later.” She places book on top of book on top of book and Randall smiles at how excited she is.

They sat on a couch made for two in the back of the book store, well, Randall sat on the couch, Beth was on the floor surrounded by 10 other books and a book of poetry in her lap. Randall admired her as she read each page carefully, looking for a poem that stood out to her. “Oh, here’s one.” She started,  
“I do not know what it is to live a balanced life.  
When I am sad  
I don’t cry I pour  
When I am happy  
I don’t smile I glow  
When I am angry  
I don’t yell I burn  
The good thing about feeling in extreme is  
When I love I give them wings  
But perhaps that isn’t  
Such a good thing cause  
The always tend to leave  
And you should see me  
When my heart is broken  
I don’t grieve  
I shatter” Randall loved hearing Beth read to him, sure, he knew how to read. But he preferred to listen to her. He liked her voice, it was sweet like candy and velvet soft. Beth had the kind of voice he would love to hear all day, everyday, the kind of voice that drew him in.   
“That sounds like me.” He says, “Can I hear another? I liked that one.” Beth grins and turns a few more pages over, stopping and staring at one for a little longer than the others. Than she turns the pages, “No, read that one.”  
“I can’t.” She says softly,   
“C’mon, you liked it. Read it. Please?” Randall asked and Beth sighed,  
“She speaks to me fondly of passions and talents,  
Guitars and stars,  
Then stops short  
And apologizes for speaking at all  
All because somewhere in her life  
Someone she loved broke her heart  
By ignoring her beautiful words  
And telling her to shut up  
Keep it down  
Nobody cares…” She stops and closes the book, not reading the last few lines. She places the book down and reaches to pick up another one. “I think I’ll like this one-“  
“Why didn’t you want to read it?” Randall asks. “Has anyone ever... made you feel like that?” There was silence when Randall asked that. Like Beth was trying to think of the right answer.   
“Sometimes I talk too much too.” She says with a forced chuckle. Like she’s trying to lighten up the conversation. “So I have to remind myself that not everyone cares about…” Beth stops, “It’s not a big deal though- “   
“Don’t say that.” Randall tells her softly. He slides down to the floor so that he is next to her. “I’ll always care.” He says. “You’ll always be able to tell me anything. Talk to me about anything. I’ll never want you to stop because I’ll always care about what you have to say.” He watches as her eyes light up, a small smile appearing on her face as she opens her mouth to speak. “I know how it feels when people don’t listen and don’t care.”  
“You always remember that too. I care.” It’s a quiet moment that they must take in. Realizing that they truly appreciate each other, and maybe- just maybe they have found someone to be themselves with. Randall picks the book up and starts to look through it.  
“I like this one,” Randall clears his throat and starts, “Have you ever loved a rose? And watched her slowly bloom? And as her petals unfold, you grew drunk on her perfume? Have you ever seen her dance? Her leaves all wet with dew, and quivered with a new romance- the wind, he loved her too. Have you ever longed for her? On nights that go on and on. For now, her face is a blur, like a memory kept too long. Have you ever loved a rose? And bled against her thorns? And swear each night to let her go then loved her more by dawn.” Beth can feel her cheeks getting hot and turning red.   
“Why’d you pick that one?” She asks quietly,  
“It reminds me of you.” She nods her head and scoots over, closer to Randall. In his lap close. She wraps her arms around him and rest her head on his broad shoulder.   
“Read another one that reminds me you of me.” Randall is a little frozen from shock, he’s never had a girl sit on his lap before. But he lets his arms wrap around Beth snugly and he looks through the pages. “You were you, and I was I, we were two, before our time. I was yours before I knew, and you have always been mines too.” 

They sit there for a while, reading poems to each other and talking before they decide to put their books away and leave. “I was going to buy you a book... any book of your choice.” Beth goes through the stack of books, finding the book of poems at the bottom.   
“I want this one” Randall smiles and nods. “It can be like… our book.” She grins

////

The night was still young; it was only around 8:30 and as he listened to Beth sing a long to a Lauryn Hill song on the radio, his heart began to palpitate. She sang softly, making sure not to be louder than the radio but Randall wanted to hear her. So he concentrated on the beautiful hum of her vocals.   
“You should sing more often.” He says to her and Beth laughs,  
“Boy please, I can’t sing worth a damn.”   
“I like it.” He shrugs, and she grows quiet, “C’mon... I don’t want you to stop.” Her cheeks turn red and she lets out a long breath.   
“I can’t sing now because you’re listening!”   
“Fine, I’ll sing.” He smiles, and Beth’s eyes grow wide. “See I don’t need no alcohol; your love makes me feel 10 feet tall, cause nothing even matters- at all.” Beth starts laughing and reaches over to place her hand over Randall’s mouth.   
“Ok, ok, stop. I’ll do the singing from now on.” She giggles, and Randall laughs too. He hoped that time would move as slow as molasses drips. Because he wanted to spend every waking hour with Beth. He wanted to hear her every thought, her every desire. He wanted to know what it was that made her tick, what made her cry and what made her laugh. 

God did he like her laugh and he wanted to hear every type she had. 

She was the girl that he never thought he’d meet, the girl he never dreamed would be his. But there she was, perfect; and just for him. He hoped. 

Randall started to wonder who made her think that she shouldn’t express herself or what she thought. What jerk made Beth believe that her voice shouldn’t be heard.

His next stop was a small reggae hip hop club just a few blocks from the book store, since she liked dancing as much as she liked books. He knew Beth didn’t really like parties, at lease not campus frat parties, but maybe a dance club would be different. They waited in line for 10 minutes before they got inside and it looked like any other club. A bar on one side, tables and chairs on the other, and a large dance floor in the middle. Randall got nervous, maybe this wasn’t Beth’s scene and she probably hated it here. “We can leave if you want.” Beth shrugged,   
“After I dance.” There weren’t a lot of people in the club but everyone was dancing. Randall nodded, going to find a table and Beth laughed, “No,” she said, “Dance with me?” It wasn’t really a question, Beth takes his hand and leads him through the crowd and to the middle of the dance floor. She wraps her arms around his neck and begins to move her hips to the beat. Randall doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he leaves them at his sides.   
“I was thinking you could dance and I could watch like we do in your room.” Beth gives him sultry look.  
“As much as I love when you watch me,” she grins, “while we’re here... if you don’t dance with me someone else will. And I want to dance with you.”  
“I don’t know how to dance.”   
“Just...”, Beth places his hands on her hips, “follow my lead.”

Beth begins to roll her hips, causing Randall to tense. “Loosen up,” she smiles and turns around, letting her backside rest against his front. The lights were dimmed, it was dark, and he couldn’t see much except the red and blue lights they had shining. But he could feel everything, every part of Beth grinding against him. 

Randall didn’t have many sexual experiences, unless you counted the time Kathryn Hobs French kissed him on the playground in 5th grade- which was by surprise and her friends dared her- but that was it. No, this was his first sexual experience; and he didn’t know how to handle it. He always got this feeling when he would watch Beth dance in her room, a hot feeling, but that was nothing compared to how he felt right now. He felt aroused and he began to wonder if Beth knew what she was doing. 

But he told himself to stay cool and keep his hands at a safe distance. Maybe she wouldn’t mind if they slipped down a few more inches-no! He couldn’t do that. He kept his hands on her hips, but his grip tightened. When her movements slow down- just like the beat of the music- Randall found himself blushing furiously. She has to know what she’s doing, she just has to. Beth was noticeably shorter than Randall but as she danced on him they fit perfectly together. 

She lifts her arms up and links them around Randall’s neck and begins to sway her hips back and forth, making Randall let out a small groan. He has to control himself. She has the perfect size ass-not too small and not too big- it’s the perfect shape too. Beth leans back and lets her shoulders press into his chest; giving Randall the perfect view of her. Her hips start to roll again and this time Randall does the same, rolling his hips in time with hers. 

It’s sexy, the whole thing is just sexy, and Randall feels like he might explode. Explode from having Beth so close to him in such an intimate way, explode from sexual tension, explode from the feeling of her finger tips on the back of his neck.

Beth can feel Randall’s heavy breathing on her skin. Of course she knows what’s she doing, she can feel Randall getting excited, he’s sweating; and it’s not from how hot it is in the club. But she likes doing this to him, making him feel this way. But to be honest he made her feel some kind of way too, she was just better at hiding it. 

The music dies down and a different song comes on but she stops, knowing Randall couldn’t handle another song with her. Beth leads him off the dance floor and out of the club for some air. “You’re not so bad.” Beth says looking up at Randall. She lets her fingers snake through his, smiling at how much bigger his hands are.   
“You were doing all the dancing.” He laughs nervously and Beth chuckles,   
“You were sweating more than I was though.” She says softly and Randall freezes. “I’m just teasing... I like teasing you.” She grins, “You’re fun to play with.”  
“I can tell.”   
“This night has been... amazing. Like the best date ever.”  
“It’s not over yet. I have to feed you.” Randall smiles.  
“So... do you always plan spectacular, interest driven dates or am I special?”  
“You’re special... and this is also my first real date.” Beth’s eyes grow wide,  
“You’ve never gone on a date before?”  
“I was really focused on school and my grades and science club... and karate. I was too scared to ask the girls in my high school out. They... didn’t seem to like me that much. You know, dating a black guy was cool but not black guys like me. They wanted the thug, gangster rapping kind of black boyfriend. Not the science, math loving nervous wreak like me type.”  
“Who wouldn’t like you? You’re amazing.”  
“You’d be surprised...” Beth nods in understanding,  
“It’s because you’re different... you’re a different type of guy and not everyone will understand it. Not every girl will like it but... I do.” Beth sighs, “I’ve dated the thug type before and they’re nothing special.” Randall grins, “But anyway what did you want to be when you grew up… when you were a kid?” Beth asked lightly grabbing Randall’s hand.   
“A mad scientist.” He smiles, and she laughs, “Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde mad scientist. I just thought it was cool.”  
“That doesn’t surprise me,”  
“How about you?”  
“A mermaid. Definitely a mermaid. I wanted to be one of Ariel’s sisters… but the sister from her dad’s affair with a black mermaid.” She laughs and Randall chuckles.   
“That’s so scandalous.”

////

The restaurant was too crowded and the wait would be an hour or longer. “I’m sorry, i really wanted to bring you here...”  
“Randall... I didn’t really have a taste for food anyway.” Beth shrugged, “But ice cream would be so good right now.”  
“Ice cream?“  
“Take me to Dairy Queen’s” she smiles and Randall nods,  
“Ok, ok there’s one down the street I think.”

////

The Park was dimly lit from the street lights and silent. It was a nice park not too far from campus, with a trail for bike riding and a basketball court and little pond for ducks. It was cute. Randall took in the settings as they walk in comfortable silence as Beth eats her cookies and cream.   
“It’s good to know you like ice cream. I love it too.”  
“Um yeah, it’s like my favorite dairy product.” She smiles,   
“So...” Randall tries, “Are you... happy to be on campus? Like some people really miss Home... I like it here because I’ve never seen so many black people” he laughs and so does Beth,  
“No, I love it on campus. I can get some damn privacy.” Randall laughs again,  
“What do you mean?”  
“There were a lot of us in my house... uncles, cousins, me and my 3 sisters, my mom, my dad, it was just...it’s fun when you’re a kid. But the older you get it’s just... crowded.”  
“I’m sorry... that sounds hectic.”  
“Yeah try studying in my house. But I guess it helped me be able to function with noise around.” She grins, “How about you? It couldn’t have been all bad in your house.”  
“No, no... I just always felt like I was on the outside looking in... like there was a racial wall I could never get passed. But my parents are great, my sister is great, my brother... hates me.”  
“I’m sure he doesn’t.”   
“That’s how it feels sometimes. Like it was always a burden; having me around.”   
“Well tell me more about your parent,” she smiles, “They have to be amazing to have raised such a gentlemen like you.” Randall blushes,  
“You think I’m a gentlemen.”  
“Anytime i dance on a guy and he has enough self control to not grab my ass... that’s the only explanation.”   
“They just always taught respect and love. My mom and I are close, really close. She’s like my rock, whenever I felt out of place she would bring me back and let me know I was wanted, my father always kept me on track... encouraged every ability I had. My father he died last year.” Beth looks at Randall, not knowing what to say except,  
“I’m sorry,how-“  
“I don’t want to talk about it.” He says quietly, Beth nods and reaches out, taking Randall’s hand.  
“If you ever do want to talk... I’m here.” She whispers. “Me and my dad used to eat ice cream together at 3 am.” She smiles and so does Randall. “It was the only quality alone time we could have. It was like an unspoken routine. He’s get up and go down to the kitchen and I’d meet him there and he’s have the biggest tub of cookies and cream ice cream waiting for me.” She grins, “I always kind of felt looked passed...I’m a younger middle sister so i wasn’t the spoiled brat like my little sister, Alicia. And I wasn’t the mature over achievers like Renae and Nicole. I was just Beth and I was just there. But at 3 am my dad gave me all his time and he listened to everything. Everything about school, about my friends. There was nothing I couldn’t tell him.” She says looking down at her ice cream. “Dads are always the best.” Randall nods,   
“What about your mom?”  
“We’re close. Like best friends, you get older and learn how to split your time so now Renae has graduated from NYU and Nicole is a senior here but now we’re all like a little gang. Alicia is a senior in high school.”  
“I wish me and Kevin were close.”  
“Maybe one day.” Randall nods, not sure if that’ll ever happen. “Quick, favorite ice cream flavor.”   
“Vanilla. Nice and simple. You can’t go wrong.”

////

He walks her down to her room and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He’s nervous again.  
“Tomorrow’s Sunday... my roommates leaving so maybe you should come over? We can watch some tv, study a little? I can read you some more poems.” Beth grins, giving Randall a knowing look.   
“That’s be great, I’ll come over around 10- unless that’s too early-“  
“10 is fine, Randall.” She gets her door open, then wraps he arms around his neck and gives him a hug. “I had a great time and thanks for my book.” Randall gives her a silly smile,   
“Your welcome... have a good night.” Randall says, giving Beth a hand shake before he starts to leave. Beth laughs and goes into her room but stops when Randall calls out, “I was hoping I could call you when I get to my room?”  
“I’ll be waiting.” She smiles closing her door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse me for not posting every week, I have a lot of my plate and will post once a month maybe more if I can get to it. Please comment and let me know what you think.


	3. First kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth and Randall share their first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Here's the third chapter :) ( In light of recent episodes, Randall's first kiss was with Alison. :/ But in my mind there's never been anybody else but Beth. So Alison doesn't exist in this story lol ) It's not terribly long but I hope you enjoy it.

You took Beth out every night this week.

Monday the two of you spent the entire night in the library. Which doesn’t sound romantic but if you sit in the back, behind all the tall shelves, its dim lighted and quiet. And there was nothing more romantic then Beth snuggling up under you while she read.

Tuesday, you took her to the movies and on Wednesday you took her out to eat, and tonight- well tonight the two of you walked down to the lake and watched the sunset with ice cream. 

You felt like you and Beth had a thing; books and ice cream. You liked having a thing with Beth.  
“Thanks for the ice cream and taking me to the lake.” She blushed, leaning against her door. “I’ve never seen the sunset before.”  
“Really?” You laughed,  
“Where I’m from, we had to be in the house before the street lights were on so... no sunsets for me.”  
“Your parents were that strict, huh?”  
“Not strict but... being outside after dark meant you were looking for trouble.” she shrugs. “And my daddy always told us he didn’t want to have to hurt nobody.” She laughs. “But anyway, I had fun. A lot of fun,” she says quietly, not taking her eyes off of you.  
“Me too.” You said placing his hands behind his back, you found yourself staring back at her, admiring how cute she looked in the Howard sweatshirt that she had cut to show off her stomach. But you didn’t want to look too hard, so you began looking around the hall. Staring at the banners they had on the walls and the pictures...  
“So...” Beth grinned, her hand resting on the doorknob.  
“So...” You say with a click of your tongue.  
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“Yeah, tomorrow.” Beth nods,  
“Yup.”  
“Do you want me to open the door for you?”  
“Um,” Beth looks down and grabs her keys from her shoulder bag. “No, no I’ve got it.” She turns around and opens the door.  
“Bye, Bet-“ but she closes the door before you can finish.

////

You should have kissed her, you should have just leaned in and just... kissed her. But you were terrified. Not only would that have been you and Beth’s first kiss it would be the first kiss of your life. 

And how would you even start it, how would you know what to do or if she liked it?

But maybe Beth didn’t want you to kiss her... of course she wanted you to kiss her! That’s why she was standing there looking at you with those huge, doll like brown eyes, and that’s why was putting on lip balm at the lake; IDIOT! That would have been perfect, to kiss her at the lake. Right when the sun began to set. 

She’s probably mad at you now, that’s why she closed the door so fast. You can’t believe it, you totally messed up and now she’ll probably never talk to you. What if she thinks you don’t like her? What if she thinks you’re lame... Tony or any other guy would have kissed her way before the 6th date. 

////

You go to her room the next morning to walk her to class like always, but her roommate said she already left.

////

You think she’s avoiding you, but you’ve never been good on picking up hints. So you wait for her outside her last class of the day and smile when you see her walking out clutching her books to her chest. She looks upset,  
“Hi,” You say picking yourself up off the wall. She gives you a weak smile,  
“Hi,” She answers back, and you chuckle.  
“Want me to carry your books?” She shakes her head,  
“I’m fine.”  
“C’mon… I always carry your books.”  
“You don’t have to.”  
“I want to.”  
“Randall, I’m fine. Honestly… can you just…” She stops, “I can walk myself back to my room.”  
“I wanted to take you to the lake tonight.” You keep trying. “Please? I’ve missed you.” She takes a deep breath, taking her book bag off and handing it over to you without saying a word.

///

Beth sat next to you on the bench with her legs crossed and arms folded over her chest. She wasn’t speaking and hadn’t said anything the entire walk there.  
“I’ve barely seen you all week... when I got to your door your roommate told me you had already left...” You finally say, and she shrugs,  
“I wanted to get breakfast, so I left a little earlier.”  
“But I always bring you a cinnamon roll and an orange juice. And a yogurt.” You smile but she doesn’t.  
“Why did you ask me to come here with you, Randall?” She asks, “I get that you were just being friendly, you don’t like me like that-“  
“No!” You practically shout, “I like you, a lot Beth.”  
“Then why haven’t you kissed me?” She asks, “We’ve been hanging out for a month and a half, we go on dates and we spend hours together every day… you’ve never even tried.” you take a deep breath and get your words together.  
“I get so many butterflies when I’m around you, Beth. Like raging, trying to get out, I’m going to throw up kind of butterflies.” You breathe, “It’s like I can’t think straight and everything gets all jumbled in my head. And my heart? Sometimes it feels like I’m going to have a heart attack when I’m with you.” you chuckle. “Like right now, my heart won’t stop going ‘pit pat, pit pat.” She looks at you, her expression soft now.  
“Why do I make you so nervous?” She asks,  
“Have you seen yourself?” You reply and Beth laughs out loud. Her smile spreading across her face. “I’ve never gotten female attention. I was so into science and they were so into everything else.. but you? It’s like you get me and I just… I don’t know how to act around you.” You take a moment, before turning to Beth.  
“It’s too obvious for me to say you’re beautiful. I’m sure you already know that but...” You stand and get on your knees, right in front of Beth, so that you’re face to face, eye to eye.  
“ ‘you are a strange kind of beautiful. The type of beautiful, the type of magic that men runaway from. And run back to when it’s too late.’“ a small smile appears on Beth’s face. Her cheeks turning a bright red. “I don’t want to run from you and I don’t want it to be too late for me so...” you lean in, your lips meeting softly with hers. 

The kiss was so soft, you didn’t want to startle her, and you wanted to give her enough time to stop you. But she doesn’t, Beth leans in a little closer, allowing her lips to press harder into yours. She parts her lips then, catching yours between hers.

It’s one kiss, but it’s a kiss that sends you into hyper drive. Scatters every thought he’s ever had. Sets your brain on fire. It’s a sudden rush that you’ve never felt before. A kind of rush that you want to feel over and over and over again.

Beth pulls away briefly, her lips hovering over yours, inches away but barely touching. Like she’s savoring this moment. Beth nuzzled her nose into yours, her breathing soft and shaky, she’s sending chills through your blood stream. You can’t take it and you reach over, just enough to reconnect your lips to hers. But she pulls away again, leaving you with his eyes closed and lips still puckered out. You hear her giggle as you open your eyes.  
“I can’t- I think my heart stopped.” You grin.  
“How was that?” She asks softly, and you just nod.  
“Great, can we do it again?” She doesn’t answer you, instead she crashes her lips into hers and you groan out loud. 

You get closer to her, settling yourself between her legs and placing your hands on her hips. Your hands then work their way around Beth’s body, pulling her closer to you, scooting her further up on the bench so that her legs are wrapped around you. Then you did it, the two of you kissed again; and it was glorious. Her lips were soft and plump.

She tasted of cinnamon and honey. Like everything amazing in this world. 

Her heart was beating so fast and so hard- and God, did you hope that was because of you. Because your own heart was racing at the speed of light and hard enough that she could probably hear it. But you both ignored the feeling of your beating hearts because your tongues had made their way into each other’s mouths and were slow dancing.

Beth slide her hands up your chest and pushes gently, “Randall,” she says softly, her voice breathy and light. She pronounces every letter, every syllable. Your name had never sounded so good, never sounded so sweet. She says it again, “Randall” and your heart flutters. You weren’t sure if she was trying to get your attention or trying to kill you, but you just wanted the kiss to keep going. So you didn’t stop, you deepened the kiss, drawing a moan from her throat. Her hands make their way up and her fingertips play with the skin on your neck, giving you goose bumps. 

She was warm and delicate. She melted into your arms, giving herself over to you completely and you loved it. You loved the feeling of her skin, the feeling of her lips, the feeling of her.

You had a million thoughts going through your mind and you couldn’t stop them. but they all lead back to one person: Beth. You wanted more than just her kisses, you wanted more than her body. You wanted her heart and everything that came along with it. The two of you finally pull apart, giving each other shy looks. 

“My queen,” you say, kissing her cheek a few times. This makes her blush and you grin, “You are my queen, right?” He asks, and she nods,  
“I’m yours.” You get up and sit on the bench next to hers.  
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a month.”  
“I’ve been wanting you to do that for a month.” You chuckle nervously,  
“Sorry.”  
“Don’t be,” She smiles, “It was worth the wait.”


	4. Randall overeacts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar somebody comes back into Beth's life and Randall's jealous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorryy this took so long! My word processor has been acting up and- uhg :/ Its back up and running now :)

He ran all the way to the campus cafe that Monday after his last class of the day. Beth had been sick all weekend and he couldn’t wait to see her and give her the book that he bought her.

But when Randall walked through the door of the cafe there was a guy talking to Beth; a handsome young man with dark brown skin. He was tall, not too muscular but not too skinny. Randall froze, not sure what to do. Should he go over and say hi or wait for the guy to walk away? Beth was expecting him but... he just stood there watching them. Randall noticed the smile on the guys face as he talked to Beth. He should go over there. He should go over and start a scene and tell the stranger that he couldn’t look at her like that; that he couldn’t smile at her like that!

But he knew Beth wouldn’t like that.

So, he waited, not wanting to embarrass himself. Or Beth. 

She gives the stranger a short smile and waves bye as he leaves and when she notices Randall she perks up and so does he. He takes the short walk over to Beth, grinning wildly as he gets closer.  
“I missed you.” He tells her before she can speak and before he can sit down. She puts her latte down gently, her smile growing and her cheeks turning a bright red. “All weekend without seeing you has been...” he stops trying to find the words, “I’ve just felt really down.” He chuckles, it was pathetic really- how much he missed her. “I listened to cry for you all Saturday night. I’m sorry, I know it sounds needy-” Randall says and Beth shakes her head.   
“No, it’s sweet.” Beth smiles, “I missed you too.”   
“Uh- “Randall clears his throat. “Who was that guy?” He tries to act nonchalant.  
“Nobody. Just Jamal.”  
“Is he a friend? Do you have a class with him, I’ve never met him.”  
“We don’t have a class together... he’s just a guy...”  
“How do you know him?”  
“We went to high school together.”  
“Ok... you’re not explaining much.” He laughs nervously  
“He’s my ex, Randall.” Beth finally says,   
“Ex... like boyfriend?” Randall can’t stop the panic that starts to set in. “You didn’t tell me you had an ex that went to this school!”  
“We sort of applied together... I got an academic scholarship and he got a basketball scholarship. But a lot of schools offered him a scholarship.  
She strugs,  
“And he just decided to come here? Even after you two broke up?”  
“He said he liked the team…”  
“He’s on the basketball team? You have an ex on the basketball team who goes to this school!” Randall repeats,  
“It’s not a big deal, Randall, really.”  
“What did he want?”  
“Just to say ‘hi’. I guess he was walking and saw me and so...” Beth sighs, “Jamal and I haven’t talked in months. We were just catching up. Besides, you were a football player-“  
“I’m a nerd first and always, Beth.” Beth laughs,  
“I like that you’re a little nerdy, can we talk about something else?” She asks, biting her lip and smiling. “Like is that my get well present in that bag?” Randall forces a grin,   
“Yeah... I missed you so much, I spent Saturday in that bookstore and I found this book... it’s basically a fairytale myth kind of love story. The description had dragons in it and knights and princesses so... I thought you would like it but if you don’t I have the receipt- “  
“I’ll start on it tonight.” Beth says giving him a kiss on the cheek.  
“Your welcome.” His lips curved upward, his dimples peeking through and her kiss lingering on his cheek.  
“Well, maybe in the morning…I think we’re overdue for cuddling.” She says sweetly, “So tonight, you, me, a different world?” Randall just nods,   
“That sounds… perfect.”

////

Randall couldn’t get Jamal off his mind… Jamal and Beth. Beth and Jamal. It became a song that played over and over in his head. A never-ending song that was starting to taunt him.

Why didn’t she tell him about Jamal?

Why did Jamal want to catch up with her? What could he possibly have to say to Beth? What did he want to know? 

Why was he so good looking?

Did he miss Beth? Did Beth miss him? Is that why she was being so secretive. 

Were they getting back together?

He knew she had a past. Everyone had a past... but why was it so upsetting? Picturing Beth with another guy... he hates it. His insecurities were starting to show, and he didn’t like that either. The side of him that wondered what kind of guy he was. And how different from him Jamal was.

Jamal was the cool guy on campus… now that Randall thought about it; he had seen Jamal around. He would be blowing off class and giving high fives to the other jocks. He always had his arm around some girl and he had one of those charming, make you melt, smiles. While Randall was the nerd hiding in the library. He guy who hid behind his glasses and only spoke up in class when necessary.

////

Beth snuggled closer to Randall that night, pulling the covers over their intertwined bodies and flip the TV channel’s looking for something good. “Who’s the boss, Growing pains, or Full house?” She asks Randall.  
“Full house. Even though Alyssa Milano is cute-“  
“Well now I get to stare at John Stamos.” Beth says slyly,   
“Full house is funnier,”  
“And who doesn’t love the Olsen twins?” Beth turns to Full house and turns the volume up. Randall reaches over and turns her bedside lamp off so that the only source of light is the TV. Beth places her head on his shoulder, and Randall hugs her tighter. 

He likes having his arms around Beth, he enjoys being so close to her that he can smell the coconut scent of her hair and feel the butter softness of her skin.   
“So, you and Jamal?” He tries to say it casually, like it’s an everyday question, “How long were you two together? Like... a month or two?” Beth looks at Randall briefly, then directs her eyes back to the TV.  
“Two years.” She answers hesitantly, and Randall almost chokes on air, but he contains himself. Keeps his face even and unreadable.   
“Two years?” He repeats, his voice calm and cool. But still shaky. He hadn’t thought...  
“Junior and senior year... we met Sophomore year though.”  
“H-how did you guys meet?”  
“I was his math tutor.” She says nonchalantly,   
“Yeah but... that’s a pretty big leap. Going from math tutor to being in a 2 year relationship with the guy...” Beth shrugs,   
“We just... got close, I guess. One thing led to another and he asked me to be his girlfriend.”  
“You must have really liked him,” Randall acknowledges, his voice fighting to not sound too anxious. But he’s noticeably freaking out and sweating. It’s so hot now.   
“I guess, I don’t see how any of this is relevant.”  
“What did you like about him?”   
“Randall-“  
“It’s just... a simple question.” He says, and Beth exhales loudly,   
“I honestly don’t remember...” her voice drifts off, “I really don’t want to talk about Jamal...” Beth tells Randall finally looking up. She wants to lighten up the conversation, “We haven’t seen each other all weekend, I want to talk about- I don’t know, I don’t know... the fact that there’s 9 people living in this damn house and they barely have disagreements, not like my family anyway. Or we can talk about why the hell it rained all Saturdays, or how my English professor is a bitch- we could talk about a Dr. Seuss book, Randall, anything but Jamal.”  
“Ok,” Randall nods, “I like Dr. Seuss, he’s one of my favorite authors.”  
“Mines too,” Beth grins, “He has the best quotes.” Randall laughs,  
“Don’t tell me you know them?”  
“When you think things are bad, when you feel sour and blue, when you start to get mad, you should do what I do. Just tell yourself, duckie, you are really quite lucky! Some people are much more, oh ever so much more, oh muchly much-much more unlucky than you.” Randall’s smile gets big, it grows slowly and his cheek touch his eyes.   
“That was hot.” He laughs, and Beth laughs out loud too.   
“Do you know any?” She asks,  
“Shout loud! I am lucky to be what I am. Thank goodness I’m not just a clam or a ham or a dusty old jar of sour gooseberry jam!” Then they just laughed harder, tears forming in their eyes because anyone else would find this ridiculous; two college students reciting Dr. Seuss.   
“He’s the best writer known to man. A legend.” Beth smiles,  
“There should be a whole course dedicated to him.” Randall laughs,  
“My dad read Dr. Seuss all the time,” She grins, “It was his go to bed time story for me and Alicia. Especially when we would be too silly. ”  
“You’re a daddy’s girl, aren’t you?”  
“Guilty.” Beth laughs, “But Renae and Nicole are best friends with our mom, like peas in a pod best friends. I just got in the club last year.”   
“Me and my mom would always read together, and she would show us how to cook.”  
“Mama’s boy.” Beth smiles, “And I mean that in the best way possible.” Randall leans down and tries to kiss Beth, but she pushes him away slightly, “I’m still a little contagious… we should hold off on kissing for a few more days.” Randall pouts, “Just a few more days, ok?”  
“Ok,”

She doesn’t want to kiss me because of Jamal.

 

////

It was the following afternoon and Beth was with her friends, so Randall decided to hang out with his friends. He hadn’t really spent much time with them because most of his time he dedicated to Beth. But he couldn’t clear his mind, so he sat in his dorm with his roommate, Keith, and his friends Richard, Nicholas, and Elijah.  
“Randall, you look like you’re trying to figure out a quadratic formula, what’s up?” Keith laughs.   
“I wanna know what’s up with you and Beth. Girl is fine as hell.” Elijah says from his spot on the floor reaching over and giving Nicolas as high five. Randall turns over on his bed and faces the other guys in his room.  
“How you got a girl like that I’ll never know.”  
“I’m don’t know either.” Randall sighs,  
“I’m surprised to even see you,” Richard adds. “You spend all your time with her.”  
“Y’all haven’t seen anything,” Keith laughs, “He gets up at like 6 to walk her to class. Takes her breakfast, walks her back to her room every night. Takes her out on dates like 10 times a week.”  
“Damn. Boy, you’re whipped. You better be getting some action for all that.” Elijah laughs,  
“Shut up,” Randall says, “It’s not like that… I like walking her to class and hanging out with her.” Randall tells them. “She’s funny, and so smart, and drop dead gorgeous, and she’s cool and- I’ve never met someone who reads as much as me and-“  
“We get it.” Keith chuckles, “It’s more than a hook up.”  
“Mhm, so why aren’t you with her right now.”  
“She’s with some friends.”  
“You still haven’t told us what’s up with you.” Keith says.  
“I saw Beth with her old boyfriend… he goes here.”  
“Whoa.” Elijah grins, “Does he stay on campus?”  
“I think so.” Randall says, “He’s on the basketball team and probably gets through life on his good looks. He can have any and every girl he wants-“  
“I bet he’s getting some.” Elijah jokes and Keith throws a pillow at him.  
“What’s your point?” Richard ask,  
“I think he wants Beth back. I mean, how could he not. Look at her.”  
“She’s with you now, though.” Keith cuts in,  
“I guess.” Randall sits up, “But… you guys should have seen him. Straight out of a Boyz II men video, he was an usher look-a-like.” Richard shakes his head,  
“Yeah ok, but you’re a math genius, a science wiz.” Richard says, “Jamal will twist his ankle while he’s playing, or have some kind of injury. And even if he doesn’t, athlete’s careers are over by the time they’re 35. You’ve got brains.”  
“That’s not enough, he has more than me.”  
“More what?”  
“More… more… he’s better than me, smoother, better looking-“  
“Randall,“ Keith tries,  
“I-“ Randall lays back down and stares at the ceiling. “I don’t even know how to act around her half the time, I’m a nervous wreck. Now, I can’t even stop that everything I do she’s comparing it to what he used to do. Like yeah, I walk her to class... what if he drove her everywhere? He probably took her anywhere she wanted to go. They probably skipped class to go makeout in his fancy car. And he probably-”  
“Do you think Beth really skipped class?” Nicolas asks seriously,  
“I don’t know, I didn’t even consider that she had been in other relationships so now it’s like… how many were there? ... How many surprised her with fancy dinner dates or with lavish gifts? How many basketball stars has she dated? I bet she’s into guys like Kevin-”  
“Randall, you’re being ridiculous.” Keith says, “Like insane ridiculous.”  
“They could have broken up because- because maybe he was supposed to go to another school… but now they’re rekindling the flame, or maybe he dumped her and now he feels stupid and he’s plotting his come back as we speak. Maybe she feel for somebody else and he’s reclaiming her. He’ll sweep Beth off her feet and she’ll leave me in the dirt.” His brain was starting to hurt.   
“I would say you’re over thinking this,” Richard says. “But you’re past that.”  
“You’re honestly not even making any sense.” Elijah adds,  
“I just can’t stop thinking about her and him and... them together.” Randall exhales, “What should I do.”  
“Shut up and let it go.” Elijah says and the rest of the boys laugh.   
“You don’t have any proof… you’re really just making shit up in your head.” Randall shakes his head and sighs again, covering his head with the covers. He didn’t want to talk anymore.

////

Beth said she would be at the library all day, she had a research paper coming up and she needed a lot of books and to have her mind totally focused. Randall thought he would surprise her, sneak in a few snacks to make sure she wasn’t starving all day. Once he was in he went straight to Beth’s spot near the back of the library. It was almost hidden, a tiny rectangle area surrounded by tall shelves. No one really knew it was there, not even the librarians. But it was Beth’s spot, the only place she studied at because it was quiet. But… she wasn’t alone when he got there. 

Randall felt his heart sink as he peeked through the book shelf. Beth was here... but she was sitting with Jamal. They were close- er, he was close to her. Too close for Randall’s liking. 

His breathing became shallow, he felt like he was running out of oxygen as he watched them together. His heart was beating quickly, he started shaking. 

He couldn’t lose her... but he was! Beth lied to him!

They were sharing a book, and Beth was looking over it carefully. Then she pointed to something on the page, looking up at Jamal to show him as well. Jamal scooted closer- if that was even possible. He put his arm around Beth and she gave him a small smile, then wiggled her way out of his grasp. Randall couldn’t turn away, his eyes were glued on them, he felt like a creep, looking at them through the bookshelf. But he had to see what was going to happen. Jamal wrote something on a sheet of paper while Beth looked over the book some more and then showed him another paragraph. Jamal took his hand and put it over Beth’s helping her turn the page and keeping his hand there. He caressed it, intertwined their fingers and leaned into her ear, whispering something. Beth looked at him and didn’t say anything, she packed up her books and throw her bookbag over her shoulder and saying bye to Jamal. 

But he does one other thing. He grabs her hand and pulls Beth into him, giving her a lingering hug. After a few moments Beth pulls away and chuckles awkwardly, she turns on her heels and leaves the library quickly. 

Randall’s eyes followed her like a hawk. Should he follow her out, ask if she’s okay? Ask her why she lied to him about who she would be with? Ask her what was going on between her and Jamal. But instead he just stood there with his hand propped up on the books, trying to make his head stop spinning. 

They hugged! For a long time! Way too long to be a hug between friends…

Jamal gets up and walks over to wear is standing. Had he known he was there the whole time? Randall scowls.   
“Hey,” Jamal smirks, “Your Beth’s friend, right?” Randall just nods, his face flushing of all color. Jamal grins, leaning against the book shelf. “Tell her I want her to come to Friday’s game. I need my good luck charm.” With that Jamal leaves too.

He ran out of the library as fast as he could, his tears were running down his face and he didn’t want anyone to see him. Not like this. Randall’s mind was running wild, running away from him to a place he’d never thought possible. Beth wanted someone else, someone else wanted Beth. His good luck charm? Randall thought he was going to throw up, literally, throw up. 

He ran back to his room.

////

It’s hard to stop thinking for Randall. It’s hard to tell him brain to just; stop.   
Randall wants to talk to Beth, he wants to converse about the world and their classes and their childhoods and find out all the things they have in common and all their differences. But he can’t stop thinking about Jamal. 

And Beth could tell.  
“You’re distracted,” Beth says against Randall’s lips, they hadn’t kissed in days and god- did Randall miss her lips. But his brain was scattered, and empty; empty of everything except Jamal.   
“No, Im not.”  
“Yeah you are,” She whispers, “Usually, when we kiss I can tell I have your attention. But right now, your mind is somewhere else.” Randall pauses, trying to figure out how to say what’s on his mind. “This is supposed to be our night-“  
“Are you and Jamal getting back together?”  
“What?” Beth pulls away from Randall. “God no! No!” She says, “No!” She puts emphasis on her words. “Why would you think that?”  
“You two have been spending a lot of time together.”  
“We ran into each other at the library, Randall- I told it was nothing- That’s not spending time together.” Beth says getting off of him, “Randall, me and you spend time together.”  
“And you avoid talking about him when I ask-“  
“Because he’s irrelevant.”  
“Is that why you were at the library with him?”  
“You-you saw that?”  
“I went there to… to sneak you something to eat since you were going to be doing research all day but- but you weren’t by yourself. Was he the reason you didn’t want me to come with you-“  
“No!” She says, “No, I- Jamal just showed up and said he needed help with a study guide- he’s always been illiterate, so I just helped him find a few answers in his text book.”  
“Is that really why? Or is it because you still like him? Or- or love him…” his voice breaks, “You still love him, and you don’t want to hurt me.”  
“What?” Beth whispers, “What the hell are you talking about?” She asks,  
“I’m talking about Jamal being the perfect guy for you. He’s- He’s going to be drafted into the NBA and he’ll make millions in one game and I… I would just appreciate it if you were honest with me.” Randall breathes.   
“Randall…   
“I can’t compare to him, I never will. He was probably the best boyfriend-“  
“Why are you being like this?” Beth asks,  
“Because your ex boyfriend of 2 years pops up out of nowhere- and, and he’s here- and wants to spend all this time with you - wants you to come to his games because you’re his ‘good luck charm’! How else do you want me to be, Beth?”  
“I want you to understand-“  
“I understand that he’s what you want- not me.” Beth shakes her head, looking Randall in the eyes.  
“You really think all that? He was terrible to me, Randall.” Beth interrupts, “Our whole relationship was a joke to him... I was a joke to him.” Those big brown eyes that were normally so bright were now weighed down, filled with tears waiting to fall. “He made fun of me all the time and he called me names, he made me hate being smart and I was always dumbing myself down for him. The entire time we were together he never let me forget that I was the lucky one... that he could have any girl he wanted. And he was right because he could. So...” She pauses, she looks away from Randall and focuses on the wall in front of her. “So I had sex with him- to satisfy him, to make him happy, which was stupid because he was cheating on me anyways. And it was stupid because he didn’t care about me, h-he was going way too fast the entire time and it felt like... like I wasn’t even there.” Her voice broke into a thousand small pieces, “I just closed my eyes and pretended that I was anywhere but there...”  
“I thought he treated you like a queen- “Randall idiotically blurts, he hadn’t even thought about sex…  
“He treated me like shit… and I felt like shit when I was with him. I gave him everything and he just… took it without a second thought… I-I don’t like talking about it because, because I was so weak when I was with him. And that’s not me- some weak, male dependent female that shrinks herself for her boyfriend’s pleasure but… when I was with him that’s exactly who I was. And I hated it.” Beth crosses her arms, her eyes pointed to the ground in shame, “You know what’s really sad?” She whispers as she wipes her eyes, trying to stop the tears and Randall shakes his head, “I couldn’t even tell you why I loved him so much.” A chuckle erupts from her throat, a deep, almost grunting noise. She can feel the ache building in her chest, her sobs threatening to come up and stop her from being able to talk. “I have no idea why I wasted so much of my time with him.” She says, wiping furiously at her eyes. “Maybe I liked that he was such a big shot, maybe I thought he would change and become the kind of guy that I wanted but…” Beth’s lips trembled, and she refused to look at Randall. He could tell she was annoyed with herself, he could tell she didn’t allow herself to do things like this.

Be vulnerable and open. Not in front of anyone anyway. So she didn’t let the tears fall. She wouldn’t. Beth had too much pride.

Randall doesn’t know what to say. He has nothing to say. All he can do is look at her- stupidly. He feels stupid. It’s then that she starts to cry, her tears coming in an unstoppable stream that stains her cheeks,  
“Beth- “  
“I was so stupid-” She finally says, “I-“ He can barely recognize the girl standing a few feet away. She was broken, hurt, small and filled with sorrow. Maybe even a little regret and self-doubt. This wasn’t the Beth he had gotten to know in the last few month, the Beth he had grown so fond of, the Beth he was falling for… “I- just thought-“

She stops because Randall is pulling her into a hug. Embracing her and holding her so tight that it feels like she might stop breathing, but she likes how his arms feel around her. Her tears are soaking his shirt and she clenches her fist. He doesn’t say a word; for once. He just hugs her. She lets her pride go and she just cries into his chest as Randall rubs her back. She could feel everything slowing down, feel everything stopping. Even her tears. Randall was soft and warm, welcoming and comforting. It was all she needed. Her breathing calmed down, she stopped and closed her eyes. She inhaled is scent; letting her body relax into his.   
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. She feels... pathetic. Dramatic. Silly. All of the above. “I shouldn’t be crying on you and-.” She sniffles, “I’m ruining your shirt.”  
“I’m sorry he hurt you.” Beth pulls away then, pulling herself together in a moment.   
“Everyone gets hurt.” She shrugs softly, “It’s not a big deal.” He reaches out and grabs her hand, pulling her back into him. Beth looks up, her eyes are swollen and red. He uses his thumb to wipe her cheeks. “You didn’t deserve any of that.” Randall whispers, “Nobody does.” Her brown eyes tore into him, trying to find a lie somewhere. Trying to find a fault in what he was saying; but she couldn’t.   
“I honestly thought I’d never trust another guy again, you know?” She whispers, “The way he treated me I just… I just didn’t think it was possible but then… I come here, and I meet you and,” She breathes, “And you made me smile. I like that about you, you always make me smile and you tell me you miss me because- he never did. He never told me how beautiful I was and… it just feels so good to be with a guy like you...” Beth says, “I like that you take me on dates in bookstores and walk me to class every morning. And I like that you find poems that remind you of me just to read them to me and I like that we spend so much time together. I like that you’re interested in me and the things I have to say, and I like that you tell corny jokes to make me laugh. I like that you make me laugh. I like that you make me feel so comfortable, Randall. I’ve never had that before. And where I’m from... I never thought I’d be in college. I thought I’d be stuck with Jamal’s all my life but then I got this scholarship and I met you and... I love everything about you, Randall. I don’t want you to be anything like him.” 

She says it all in one breath, wanting to get it out and off her chest. 

Beth still couldn’t believe she had done that. Broke down in front of someone; broke down to the bone. Shared secrets of her heart that she had never spoken aloud. “I’ll make sure that nobody ever hurts you again,” he promises. Beth isn’t sure how to respond, she thinks maybe she should tell him that she doesn’t need anyone protecting her, that she can handle herself. But she doesn’t want to say that. It’s then that Randall kisses her rosy cheeks. He kisses her cheeks until she’s giggling, wrapping her arms around his neck and moving her head slightly so that their lips connect. Randall can’t picture someone treating her like that, he can’t imagine. He would never. So, he decides to tell her.   
“I’ll never treat you like he did.” He thinks this might be too soon, they’ve only known each other a few short months- but he knows how her feels.   
“It’s cute… that you were jealous.” Beth says, trying to lighten the mood. “Seeing you so…worried about losing me to some other guys.” Randall chuckles,  
“I-I sit up at night and just… think about you.” Her eyes are so big, bigger than he’s ever seen them. “Do you know what I thought when I first saw you?” Beth shakes her head silently, “I thought, there she is. The women of my dreams.” Beth gives a shy smile, a blush spreads across her cheeks. “I feel like I’m on top of the world when I’m with you.” He grins. “You remember what I said… the night of the party? That I wanted to know everything about you?” Beth nods, “I meant that. I want to know. Everything.” He says s, his voice just a little above a whisper. “Don’t hide from me.” She can only nod, her body frozen. Nobody had ever said something like that before.   
“Okay,” she says softly. “I want to know everything about you too,” Randall laughs a little,   
“I... I over think. A lot. And sometimes when I get really worked up about something I hyperventilate, and I just freak out.” He admits, “When things aren’t perfect or if they don’t go as planned.” He says, “I never meant to get you upset though and I’m sorry that I pushed you into talking about something you didn’t want to-“  
“I needed to.” She says, “I never told anyone about Jamal and how I felt... it was... liberating.” Randall and Beth smile together not saying much else. Beth nods her head, using her hand to cradle his cheek, and untying all of his knots. “You don’t have to overthink me.” She places the softest kiss on his lips and stays there for a moment. “You never have to overthink us,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can expect the next chapter in the next 3 weeks, hopefully the beginning of April or sooner. Leave comments and let me know what you think or any ideas.


End file.
